When I first came across the “retro” clothing website Shabby Apple, I instantly fell in love. I’ve never been much of a fan for women’s clothing styles nowadays, with all your bits and pieces hanging out for the world to see (okay maybe when I was sixteen and was a hot little thing with a flat stomach… but definitely not since at least my mid-twenties). I’m of the opinion that no one above the age of fifteen should be wearing a belly-baring outfit unless you’re on a beach or in yoga class. Age with dignity, my fellow females! Anyway, I’ve been trying to find stores that carry things other than tight miniskirts and sheer tank tops, which are pointless anyway because no bra goes with a top that can easily be seen through.
Prices on Shabby Apple aren’t the worst, but they definitely aren’t the best either. Typical price ranges from $70-150 per dress, comparable to say, J.Crew, with dresses ranging between $80-250. So I figured I’d give them a try and ordered two dresses from the site.
Oh hello! It's just gorgeous lil' me, hanging around looking gorgeous!
First dress I tried on fit super weirdly, bunching out in all the wrong places. I ended up returning that one (it’s this one, if you’re interested… I got it in grey. By the way, how beautiful is that model? I want to be her! She’s like a hotter model version of myself, with her part-Asian thing going on). The second dress fit pretty well, so I ended up keeping it. I wore it to a bridal shower that same week, my main reason for buying the dresses in the first place.
On to my first criticism.
Shabby Apple has the worst quality clothing ever. I’m not even exaggerating when I compare the material they use with a $12.99 cotton tablecloth you can get at Target. It’s thin and rough and not densely woven. Seams are okay, but with a few stragglers hanging off here and there. My main complaint? Shabby Apple’s dresses aren’t even lined. For something in that price range, I expect some lining going on. Thankfully I was raised by a mother who wholeheartedly believed in slips, and I happened to have a few of my own to wear underneath — but if that doesn’t sound like you, then be forewarned. Even with the slip, the poor material caused the dress to bunch and ride up, and it got wrinkled in literally two minutes of wear-time. After sitting for an hour at a shower? Forget it — my lap looked like I took the skirt and bunched it up for a day in my hands.
So since my first (and last) foray into all things Shabby Apple, I had decided to never make another purchase with them. I’m still on the mailing list, however, and receive emails for deals. That’s usually when I check out their site once in a while, just to browse when I’m bored.
On to my second, more angry criticism of Shabby Apple.
Today I received an email that touts 40% off! Additional 10% off with a coupon code! So I checked out what they were offering… because despite my flexible boycott on the company, if they had dresses for 50% (I’m thinking like $40-50), I would definitely suck it up and just wear the slip — wrinkles be damned!
I’m browsing through their sale, which is basically marked down items that have imperfections in their construction, and a funny conversation goes on in my head:
- How can they still be selling all these dresses that are “irregular” for $76? Really, that much?
- How can an irregular dress still sell for $76, anyway?
- Hmm, looks like everything is $76…
- Must be easy to list everything as double the price so you can mark it down 40% to still reach a standard price…
- Really, this dress is $130? Yeah right…
- Hey wait a second, I’ve seen this dress… and I don’t think it’s originally marked as $130!
Oooh, buy our overpriced but poorly made dresses for not that cheap!
So being the detective that I am, I go back to where I think I’ve seen one of those dresses before. And lo and behold, that motherfucking dress is originally priced at $92.
don't be jealous of my amazing Paint skills
So let’s do the math here. A $92 dress with 40% taken off comes out to $56. A Shabby Apple “Practically Perfect” sale dress is $76. So instead of a legitimate 40% off for screwing up the construction of an already poorly-constructed dress, Shabby chooses to reduce prices by half that percentage, preying on the unobservant people who just see the big number and think that they’re getting a huge deal. Also known as the sneakiest form of marketing and salesmanship known to man (besides straight up lying).
Moral of the story: don’t shop on this website… and I hope someone who works at their company reads this.
